Don't fart in bed

Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:25 pm Post subject: Don't fart in bed

This is a story about a couple who had been happily
married for years
The only friction in there marriage was the husband's
habit of
farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise
would wake his
wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make
her gasp for
air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop
ripping them off
because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. She
told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one
day he would
Blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the
turkey for
dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at
the bowl where
she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard,
liver and all the
spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She
took the bowl and
went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and,
gently pulling
back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband of his
underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into
his shorts. Some
time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which
was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound
of frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on
the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture
she reckoned she
Had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came
downstairs in his blood
stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip
as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, 'Honey, you were right. All these years you
have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.'
'What do you mean?' asked his wife.
'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up
farting my guts
out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace
of God, some Vaseline Shocked

, and two fingers Shocked

, I think I got most of them
back in.'