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Posted:
Thu Aug 09, 2007 5:57 pm Post subject:
Enjoy |
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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you
want."
So he tied her up and went golfing.
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A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into
the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,
"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or
mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."
****** ********************************************
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and
the other is a husband.
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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician
showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
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Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,
"I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the
convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
chardonnay."
**************************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the ki tchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You
NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You
know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE
SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You
think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels
like when I'm driving."
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Posted:
Fri Aug 10, 2007 2:47 am Post subject:
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Funny!
_________________
Respect all, fear none!
Conscia mens recti, famae mendacia ridet.
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Message |
Posted:
Fri Aug 10, 2007 6:15 am Post subject:
Re: Enjoy |
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{uZa}Meethos wrote: | A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the ki tchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You
NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You
know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE
SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You
think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels
like when I'm driving."
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Now that one is funny!
_________________
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