Ralph

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 1:50 am Post subject: Ralph

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed
> beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
> He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.
> Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph.'
> Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be!
> I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'
> St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one
> way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
> Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to
> send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered
> with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
> A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new
> hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
> 'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have
> this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
> 'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don
> 't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
> 'Never,' said Ralph.
> 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the
> rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
> Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds
> later, out popped an egg!
> Ralph was overcome with emotion as he
> experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was
> overwhelming.
> As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a
> smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout.....
> 'Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're shitting in the
> bed!'