WOW!!!! As usual the support from my friends here is so overwhelming that it is hard to believe. I REALLY am BLESSED to be a Part of the uZa FAMILY!! I want to thank everyone for the posts, pm’s, prayers, thoughts, motivational speeches & everything else that you all have always done for me!!!!
With so many heart wrenching responses, I figured I would respond to everyone with a PM, (please be patient, I type slower than I shoot + I’m a bit under the weather currently, lol).
I also figured that I could fill everyone in & give a quick update of where I'm at, how I got here & what I think the will happen based on what I know so far.
(I am only writing this here because many have asked the same questions & I figured it would be a lot easier to type it once(cause it’s a long story). If you are not interested, please don’t read the entire post or be offended or mad at me as though I’m looking for sympathy. I just want to do 2 things. The 1st is to respond to all of those who asked these types of questions. The 2nd is because I feel bad that I posted such a negative post & I want everyone to understand where I was coming from & why I felt/sounded like I was ready to through in the towel.
So, since January I have been traveling A LOT to make money & do a small amount of volunteering with other Terminal & Chronically ill patients.
Focusing on different self employment opportunities as well as even trying a few joint ventures(with mixed results on all fronts-gotta love this economy-Is this what they meant by “change”,…but I digress).
I got some contracts from some clients for P.I. work, pre-employment screenings, background checks, etc..
I also focused on a business I have been involved in since I was 22. In fact this business was the 1st business I ever started, (setting up businesses to accept credit cards as payments-or lowering the rates they pay if they already take credit cards),.stuff like that.
And then the Most Rewarding part for me!!!....,,, Getting to spend time with other Chronic & Terminally ill patients. I did some chaplain training, volunteering, etc.. at a cancer wing in a nearby hospital in Florida for sometime before I left for Colorado.
So, I took it upon myself to meet some folks who owned, managed or worked at different types of clinics, non profit orgs, any type of co. or org. that dealt with the Terminally ill, (especially cancer- due to my immune system I could only work with certain patients - so Avian flu for example wouldn't have been to smart).
As a result of these new friendships I was put in touch with some very ill people who just wanted someone to talk to, talk with, pray together, etc.., but I think most just wanted someone to listen & be empathetic.
I was really blessed to be put in touch with, meet & spend some time with very nice people who were suffering so badly that it made me feel guilty sometimes about being depressed about my situation. I seriously met folks who were in so much pain, for so many years that there courage was unbelievable to me. I have NO IDEA how some of these folks make through everyday. So all things considered, I'm the luckiest man alive!!
I learned a lot about others as well as myself. One of the things I learned is that I should feel as though I was being Blessed. Not Cursed (I was starting to feel “cursed” as I started getting sick again)
But all things considered, I have NOTHING to COMPLAIN ABOUT!! I’m ALIVE!!!!!!
…And, I really have been blessed with loving family & friends!!
I mean if I really think about it, I have the most Wonderful Wife & Daughter who Love me VERY MUCH.
I have my uZa FaMILY which has allowed me to become friends with some of the most honest, caring, thoughtful, intelligent people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, (I'd say more things bragging about the kind, wonderful people I have met here at uZa but I know it will come out sounding real mushy so I'll spare everyone
, And I am the longest living Adult Male in Remission with my type of leukemia which is curable for children & fatal for adults,(maybe video gaming kept my mind childlike enough to survive..lol).
Anyway, most of the time I was in Colorado working, while my Wife & Twilight were here in Florida.
I was overweight,but,80lbs in approx 6-7 months is a bit much. I am losing so much weight because for some reason my body currently rejects food.
I have a difficult time eating where I sweat like I'm running a marathon, bad cramps, sometimes a fever, & I'm always sick no later than 1 hour after I eat, (it all comes back out & then some + some cramps).
So, I got to the point where I was in Colorado eating 1 -3 meals a week because being hungry was no where near as bad as the whole process of forcing myself to eat & then spending hour after hour being sick & in pain, etc..
I just kept working, excited that after 5 years (3 in a hospital) I was able to provide for my family.
I figures the weight loss was because I was active again after being pretty much bedridden for 4-5 years.
Well, it got to the point where I couldn’t eat, couldn’t take the pain, & now I was afraid.
I didn’t want my family to worry so I didn’t tell them how extreme my weight loss was.
I kept working as long as I could,.. as I had a pretty good feeling I was going to be forced to stop working once I saw the MD.
So I called my oncologist who told me to get my bullheaded @$$ on a jet back to Florida ASAP. SO, I did lol
Any who, as some of you know in addition to my diagnosis of terminal leukemia a few years ago.
I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease when I was 15 & I almost died. I couldn't keep food in me & I lost 16 lbs in less than a week. Obviously I survived. I had a few more flares but none as serious as the 1st one. In fact before Chemo I hadn’t been treated for Crohn’s since I was 20.
So, now we find out I was mis-diagnosed with Crohn’s when I was a teenager. After my recent "*Coscopy's", (endo & the other
), it turns out No Crohn’s.
They cut some polyps, took 8 - 10 biopsy's from my stomach & intestines, etc.. And the Gastro came up with I.B.S., & U.C.. However they are causing only some of the symptoms.
What the M.D.s are worried about is possibly Lymphoma, or a tumor(which could be malignant or benign). Some may possibly be located in a part of the small intestine which cannot be reached with a scope from either end.
So the next step from the MD’s is testing for different hormones that these tumors(if there) could produce, making me sick to the point where It’s VERY DIFFICULT to retain nutrients & keep/gain weight.
I have been doing better since I returned to Florida. I have made a lot of the progress since I made the post in the forum. My Wife & daughter really LOVE me & try hard to keep me ticking. Not to mention all of the uZa posts, prayers, pep talks, kicks in the ass, etc.. It’s done me a world of good & I AM FIGHTING AS HARD AS EVER!!
From then until now:
When I flew home at the end of June, I weighed less than I did when I was a freshman in high school.
In fact, I looked so different that my wife drove past me twice at the airport because she didn’t recognize me.
I was 80 lbs lighter, shaved a goatee that I’ve had for over a decade (except when all of my hair fell out during chemo), and I was wearing a baseball cap and my Father’s clothes, (that somehow got accidentally saved, packed & hauled with me to Colorado). My dad was a lot thinner than I was so it was a real blessing I still had some of his clothes. I went from a 46inch pants to a 36 inch pants :0)
So since I have been home, my Wife & Twilight have been force feeding me & helping get through the illness as best they can. I have actually put on about 3.5 lbs since the last week in June (most of it in the last week or 2), (it has been a bit of a painful, difficult trial, but as long as there is fight left in me I Will NOT Give Up)!!!
As much as I hate it,… I have had to stop working.Go to one doctor after another & have tests & procedures done until they find out what the heck is going on with me. So far none of this has caused the leukemia to relapse, (so that’s a GREAT thing).
I just want to let you guys know there is Hope!!! I Truly Believe I Can Beat This.
I just need to keep forcing myself to eat regardless of it making me sick & trying to maintain/gain weight., stay as positive as possible so I don’t do something moronic like make myself sick by worrying & end up coming out of remission, (Attitude can do it. Believe me. I’ve watched people that were with me in the hospital have a negative attitude change for 1 reason or another & die within 24 hours)
I’ll tell everyone 1 thing, that is NOT GOING to HAPPEN to ME!! Not after the 5 years of fighting I’ve done & how far I’ve come. Not to mention that I’m BLESSED with the MOST WONDERFUL FAMILY & FRIENDS!!!!
THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH for BEING GOOD FRIENDS!!!!!
Rumour has it the dude with the moustache was Snipesy in disguise. 
HaHaHa!
Keep up the good attitude, Gene. Like you said, attitude does matter.
