Main Site | Forum Index | FAQ | Search | Memberlist | Usergroups |  Register |  Profile | Log in to check your private messages | Log in Lovemaking tips for seniors          Unreal Zark Alliance Forum Index -> Jokes, Funny pictures, etc... View previous topic :: View next topic   Author {uZa}Meethos Physco Killa Joined: 22 Oct 2005 Posts: 487 Back to top Message Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:14 pm    Post subject: Lovemaking tips for seniors Even if you are not a senior now, someday you WILL be !!!! 1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin. 5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember. 6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed. 7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act. 8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too. 9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news. 10. Don't even think about trying it twice. (This was sent in large type so you can read it.) Author {uZa}Amok Post Ho Joined: 19 May 2006 Posts: 17367 Back to top Message Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:56 am    Post subject: Thanks Teethless, errr Meethos! _________________ Respect all, fear none! Conscia mens recti, famae mendacia ridet. Author {uZa}Lonesome Eagle Site Admin Joined: 21 Oct 2005 Posts: 5004 Back to top Message Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 10:51 am    Post subject: I haven't forgotten how, but I'm beginning to struggle with why... _________________ ________ Author {uZa}Natasha_Fatale Post Ho Joined: 22 Oct 2005 Posts: 8153 Back to top Message Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 10:55 am    Post subject: 10. Don't even think about trying it twice. You can do it twice? ? ...jk _________________ ~~Be happy this moment, for this moment is your life~~ Author {uZa}Amok Post Ho Joined: 19 May 2006 Posts: 17367 Back to top Message Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 11:10 am    Post subject: {uZa}Natasha_Fatale wrote: 10. Don't even think about trying it twice. You can do it twice? ? ...jk _________________ Respect all, fear none! Conscia mens recti, famae mendacia ridet. Author {uZa}Canadian Girl Post Ho Joined: 22 Oct 2005 Posts: 11776 Back to top Message Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 4:28 pm    Post subject: Love this one... 8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too. _________________ Display posts from previous: All Posts1 Day7 Days2 Weeks1 Month3 Months6 Months1 Year Oldest FirstNewest First         Unreal Zark Alliance Forum Index -> Jokes, Funny pictures, etc... All times are GMT - 5 Hours Page 1 of 1   Jump to: Select a forum GENERAL----------------RulesServer IP's and InfoThe LoungeAll Things ComputersSportsJokes, Funny pictures, etc...The BannedGame Preview/ReviewGame ConsolesFavorite WebsitesGraphics and PhotographySmoke's Movie / TV Emporium CALL OF DUTY----------------Call of Duty DiscussionCall Of Duty:United OffensiveCall of Duty 2Call of Duty 4Call of Duty 5Server QuestionsMapsCall of Duty Mapping and Scripting Unreal Tournament----------------Unreal Tournament DiscussionMaps Team Fortress----------------Team Fortress 2Maps NON-UZA HOSTED GAMES - FPS----------------Half-Life 2BattleField NON-UZA HOSTED GAMES - MMORPG----------------Guild WarsWorld of WarcraftWarhammer  You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum FSDark by SkaidonDesigns Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group