Face Lift

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 4:26 pm Post subject: Face Lift

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th
birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good
about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a
newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I
hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you
think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks
the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."

The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops
in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes
up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk
this burning question.

The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old
man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going, although
when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how
old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it
requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you
are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until her
curiosity gets the bestof her. She finally blurts out,
"What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins
to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces
and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each
nipple.

He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against
each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay,
okay...How old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes
his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was
incredible, how could you tell?"

The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't," she says.

"I was behind you in McDonald's" Razz