Register    Login    Forum    Search    FAQ

Board index » {uZa}GENERAL FORUMS » The Lounge




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Drafting Guys Over 60"
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:55 pm 
Offline
Expert Poster
Expert Poster
User avatar

Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 5:29 pm
Posts: 73
Drafting Guys Over 60"
This is funny & obviously written
By a former soldier...
New Direction for any war:
Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and theArmed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 55.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Drafting Guys Over 60"
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:43 pm 
Offline
Mucho Posto!
Mucho Posto!

Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2010 10:54 pm
Posts: 527
haha this is awesome!

_________________
Image


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Drafting Guys Over 60"
 Post Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:51 pm 
Offline
SPAM Whore!
SPAM Whore!

Joined: Thu Feb 19, 2009 4:07 pm
Posts: 5471
I could not stop laughing! Old guys rule!! :)

_________________
Image


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Drafting Guys Over 60"
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 7:05 am 
Offline
Has No Life!
Has No Life!
User avatar

Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:00 am
Posts: 3323
Location: Little Gasparilla Island, FL!
HEY! I resemble those facts! :shock: Besides now there are a lot of us "ol' farts", we do live longer in this day and age! I might add this.... we can't hear so bullets whizzing by won't spook us! :| Although there might be one draw back... we can't see so U better stay behind us! HaHaHa :D GoOd MoRnInG AmErIcA!!!!!!!! 8-)

_________________
Image
Image


Top 
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Drafting Guys Over 60"
 Post Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 1:58 pm 
Offline
Forum Regular
Forum Regular
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 263
Location: Iowa
Amen

_________________
Image
Prepare to be boned!!


Top 
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
 
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

Board index » {uZa}GENERAL FORUMS » The Lounge


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 21 guests

 
 

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron