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{uZa}mr. brightside
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Post subject: Citizens Notice Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 12:13 am |
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Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 12:35 pm Posts: 741
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Email I got. Contains a some language, fyi.
NOTICE TO ALL CITIZENS > Due to the current financial situation > caused by the slowdown in the economy, > Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put > workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, > thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. > > This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). > > > Persons selected to be RAPED > can apply to Congress to be considered for the > SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). > > Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED > will be reviewed under the > SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). > > A person may be RAPED once, > SHAFTED twice and > SCREWED as many times > as Congress deems appropriate. > > Persons who have been RAPED could get > AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) > or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel’s Early Severance). > > Obviously, persons who have > AIDS or HERPES > will not be > SHAFTED or SCREWED > any further by Congress. > > However, persons who are not > RAPED and are staying on, > will receive as much > SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) > as possible. > > Congress has always prided themselves on > the amount of SHIT > they give our citizens. > > Should you feel that you do not receive enough > SHIT, > please bring this to the attention of > your Congressman or Congresswoman, > who have been trained to give you all the > SHIT you can handle. > > Sincerely yours, > The committee for the > ECONOMIC VALUE OF INDIVIDUAL LIVES (EVIL). > > P.S. > Due to the most recent budget cuts > and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, > as well as current market conditions, > the LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL > has been turned off.
_________________ "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy or art; it has no survival value. Rather, it is one of those things that gives value to survival." -C.S. Lewis.
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{uZa}Underdog
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Post subject: Re: Citizens Notice Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:57 am |
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Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:00 am Posts: 3323 Location: Little Gasparilla Island, FL!
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{uZa}MrPow
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Post subject: Re: Citizens Notice Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 12:55 pm |
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Expert Poster |
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Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2010 9:20 am Posts: 50 Location: Orange County NY
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Come on, that one is so old, I think it's in the Bible. LOL
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{uZa}mr. brightside
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Post subject: Re: Citizens Notice Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 2:28 pm |
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Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 12:35 pm Posts: 741
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The only thing older is that joke.
_________________ "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy or art; it has no survival value. Rather, it is one of those things that gives value to survival." -C.S. Lewis.
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