|
|
Page 1 of 1
|
[ 4 posts ] |
|
Author |
Message |
{uZa}mr. brightside
|
Post subject: Citizens Notice Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 12:13 am |
|
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 12:35 pm Posts: 741
|
Email I got. Contains a some language, fyi.
NOTICE TO ALL CITIZENS > Due to the current financial situation > caused by the slowdown in the economy, > Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put > workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, > thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. > > This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). > > > Persons selected to be RAPED > can apply to Congress to be considered for the > SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). > > Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED > will be reviewed under the > SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). > > A person may be RAPED once, > SHAFTED twice and > SCREWED as many times > as Congress deems appropriate. > > Persons who have been RAPED could get > AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) > or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel’s Early Severance). > > Obviously, persons who have > AIDS or HERPES > will not be > SHAFTED or SCREWED > any further by Congress. > > However, persons who are not > RAPED and are staying on, > will receive as much > SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) > as possible. > > Congress has always prided themselves on > the amount of SHIT > they give our citizens. > > Should you feel that you do not receive enough > SHIT, > please bring this to the attention of > your Congressman or Congresswoman, > who have been trained to give you all the > SHIT you can handle. > > Sincerely yours, > The committee for the > ECONOMIC VALUE OF INDIVIDUAL LIVES (EVIL). > > P.S. > Due to the most recent budget cuts > and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, > as well as current market conditions, > the LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL > has been turned off.
_________________ "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy or art; it has no survival value. Rather, it is one of those things that gives value to survival." -C.S. Lewis.
|
|
|
|
|
{uZa}Underdog
|
Post subject: Re: Citizens Notice Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:57 am |
|
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 8:00 am Posts: 3323 Location: Little Gasparilla Island, FL!
|
|
|
|
|
{uZa}MrPow
|
Post subject: Re: Citizens Notice Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 12:55 pm |
|
|
Expert Poster |
|
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2010 9:20 am Posts: 50 Location: Orange County NY
|
Come on, that one is so old, I think it's in the Bible. LOL
|
|
|
|
|
{uZa}mr. brightside
|
Post subject: Re: Citizens Notice Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2010 2:28 pm |
|
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 12:35 pm Posts: 741
|
The only thing older is that joke.
_________________ "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy or art; it has no survival value. Rather, it is one of those things that gives value to survival." -C.S. Lewis.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Page 1 of 1
|
[ 4 posts ] |
|
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 36 guests |
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot post attachments in this forum
|
|
|